| Were the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles really teenagers? I mean, think about it. Obviously, the 'mutant' and 'ninja' parts apply, but aside from being 16, did the 'teenage' part ever come into play? Sure, Shredder would try to take over the world with an army of ninja warriors and a brain in a fat guy's stomach every couple of weeks, but how often did Donatello stay up all night cramming for a Bio test? He'd be more likely to be disected at one, but I digress. If the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were really teenagers, you'd have seen a lot more of Leonardo dealing with his acne problem; Michaelangelo would have fallen in with the pot smoking crowd; And you know, YOU KNOW that Raphael would have spent half the time in his room masturbating to April O'Neil. And Splinter, of course. Those boys got along waaaaaay too well with their parental figure. He was an only dad--martial artist rat or not--there's no way he could have raise four fully productive and well-adjusted turtle monsters. Oh well, it fit the theme song pretty damn well. Frankly, the whole frandchise went downhill after the second movie. Everything after that was crap. The fifth ninja turtle made me want to retch. Well, I imagine I'll shut up now, and let you all contemplate this undoubtedly profound ponderance I've thrust upon you. Yeah, whatever. |
