| Flashback to May, 2001. It's dinner time, I'm hungry. I drop by Subway, one of my favourite joints at the time. I order a simple footlong Subway Melt, extra cheese and bacon, no veggies, on white. Seems simple enough. They do their Subway thing; making the sandwich before my eyes. It's almost done, we get to the last option... "Would you like salt and pepper?" "Just pepper, no salt please. I'm allergic." Boy, are they fucking stupid. I suppose I should have been paying attention, but instead of shaking on just salt, they shook on the salt/pepper mix. Just have been an accident, could have been she thought I wanted both, but it also could have been she just didn't care. I don't realize until it's too late. I take a few bites in and my throat instantly flares up, my eyes water, and I cough up half my lung. "Damn you, Subway. DAMN YOU TO HEEEEEEELL!" I shout in my head (since at this point I can't talk, only wheeze.) That's when I started boycotting the bastards. For sixth months I didn't buy from them. Even last month, when they put a store in RIGHT NEXT to my school, I said "No, no. I stand by my decision." Well, tonight I was out running a few errands and hadn't eaten dinner yet (it's about 9pm now). I finally decide it's time to give the old S a chance. After all, it's good enough for Jared. So I go in, walk up to the counter, and place my ever classic order. "Footlong Subway Melt, extra cheese and bacon, no veggies, on white, please." "We're out of white." "Pardon me?" "We have no white bread left." No white bread? NO WHITE BREAD?! Jesus Christ, I boycot the bastards for six months, you'd think that they'd have some fucking white bread ready for me when I finally decide to eat there! It's a 24-hour establishment, it's 9 O'Clock at night, no one else is in there, they BAKE the bread themselves, is a Melt on white too much to fucking ask?! Well, despite this I still go ahead with my order: Footlong Subway Melt, extra cheese and bacon, no veggies, on wheat. So they do their thing, they make the sandwich before my eyes...slowly. It seems the broad working the counter doesn't know what's on a Subway Melt, so I have to remind her. So the sandwich gets finished, and they warm it up in the microwave. I seem to remember all the other Subways I've gone to use real fucking ovens to heat their sandwiches, but I guess this is just one of the wonders of the 21st century. Well, I get my goddamn dinner (to go, I want to get out of their ASAP), and head out. Just as I'm pulling out, I see the sign outside that says "SUBWAY SPECIAL: OCTOBER 28: BUY ONE GET ONE FREE -- PRIZES". Hold up-- Is October 28th over yet? Did I get two for one? Did I get prizes? Sadly, I've already made the illegal turn onto the road and have headed back home. So, it'll be a while before I eat at Subway again; count on it. For a brief second, they were off Mat's Boycott list, but they probably didn't even notice. Oh well...the bastards are gonna regret not having my business, even if I have to fly a plane into every single one of them...heh heh heh... |
